Never to Return Again
by shadowblade-tara
Summary: Shadows Within saga. Gideon has returned to the city, and it has the team just a little on edge.
1. Chapter 1

Criminal Minds © CBS.

Part 9 of the Shadows Within saga. No crossover this time. And the relationship depicted here may not be cannon (does Rossi know Gideon personally? do they ever say?) but forget it. This is more fun.

**Never to Return Again**

Jason Gideon watches from a distance. It's been years since he's set foot in DC, but his mind actually felt clear for the first time since the incident, and he needed to seek out his old team. Needed to make sure they were doing okay without him. Now he stands on the other side of the street, watching as they leave the restaurant, and he can see the changes.

David Rossi has taken his place on the team. That surprises him. He didn't think anything could bring that man out of retirement – he enjoys his book deals too much. Gideon wonders if Hotch appreciates Rossi's interference. No doubt the elder agent has thrown off the dynamics of the team. Gideon can already see it from here.

They're not talking. Gideon noticed the unusual silences started not long after Reid joined the team. Now he wonders if bringing the young man on was a good idea. Sure, he's brilliant, but it didn't take him long to see the signs of mild autism – an aversion to touch, the tendency to either stay silent or babble, the way social norms seemed to fly over his head. It was the first time he and Hotch had butted heads. Gideon wanted to have Reid evaluated. Hotch simply stated that, if that were to happen, Gideon would find himself off the team.

Gideon believed him.

Still, the team speaks very little. He watches them walk down the street, Garcia hanging on both Reid and Morgan, smiling happily, Emily and Prentiss leading the pack, Hotch and Rossi bringing up the rear. They look peaceful, but Gideon still has that sense that something is wrong. It's never anything he can put his finger on, nothing his profile skills can explain – it's an instinct, one that tells him there's something innately wrong with a group of people who can go all night, never speak a word, and yet seem to say everything in silence.

They walk past a book store. Reid's head perks up, his interest drawn to the displays. Morgan laughs, and the group redirects into the store, Reid practically bouncing on his heels.

Gideon smiles. Good to know some things don't change. Now if he can just get up the nerve to go talk to them. He'll never find out anything if he doesn't.

Inside the bookstore, with Reid lost in the back somewhere and the girls poking around the romance section, Rossi looks out the window. You can't tail an agent of the BAU and get away unnoticed. He turns to Hotch, who has a magazine in his hand. _Hotch._

The senior agent joins him. _What is it?_

_Out there._ Rossi returns his attention to the window. _He's been following us. He's familiar, but I can't place from where._

Hotch looks, and the peaceful expression he's worn all afternoon vanishes. _Gideon._

That single word has an amazing effect on Rossi's new family. JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia immediately flinch and look up. Morgan automatically heads to the back of the store where Reid is. Their youngest surprises everyone. Instead of pain or confusion, white-hot anger flashes through him for just a moment. Rossi can sense him reaching out, trying to locate his former mentor.

_I still can't sense him._ he says quietly.

Rossi considers for a moment, then nods. _Stay in here. I would like to have a word with Gideon._ With that he turns and leaves the bookstore. Hotch tries to call him back, but Rossi has seen the effect this man has, and he's sick of it. He makes his way across the street.

Gideon watches him approach. "I was wondering if you'd noticed."

It takes Rossi a moment to find his voice. He hasn't spoken a word aloud all day. "I take notice of anyone following my team." he says darkly. There's an emphasis on the word _my_ that Gideon doesn't miss. "You're just lucky I recognized you. Otherwise I may have decided to just shoot."

Gideon shakes his head. "I just wanted to say hi to everyone while I was in town."

"After you walked away with only a note to explain everything?" The venom in Rossi's voice makes Gideon subconsciously stand a little straighter. "I don't think you have the right."

"I explained it all to the only one who mattered."

"And a letter was enough. You didn't think to call him, let him know you were still alive. You thought a stupid letter would be fine." Rossi shook his head. "They told me about what happened. Morgan followed Reid out to your cabin, just in case you decided to off yourself instead of just abandon them. I'm not sure which would have been worse."

Something dangerous flashes across Gideon's eyes. "I did what I had to do." He sighs, and that something is gone. It leaves Rossi feeling cold inside. "I'm just going to cut to the chase here. I want to talk to Reid. I want to make sure he's okay."

In Rossi's mind, Reid snorts. _Oh, now he's actually concerned? After all these years, now he bothers to check in?_ That rage is still simmering underneath, concealing a wound that Rossi knows runs deep. _Tell Gideon I'd rather stay in here with Isaac Asimov._

Rossi smirks. "I don't think you'd be well tolerated. He found the sci-fi section."

Gideon just smiles. "You think you're protecting him. It's an instinct when it comes to that boy. I've been doing it for far longer than you have."

He can't help it – Rossi actually starts laughing. He can hear his amusement echoed by Hotch. "Reid doesn't need my protection or yours. He's survived hell again and again, and he's done just fine with a little backing. Just like we all do." Reid is still reaching out, trying to find his former mentor's mind. It's starting to bother Rossi. _Why is this so important to you?_

_I can count on one hand the number of people I can't Know._ Reid says. _They were all unsubs and Gideon. I could even Know Elle, at least a little. With Gideon, it's like there's this brick wall I can't see through._

Rossi tilts his head to the side, studying Gideon. The older man waits patiently. "Am I going to have to push past you?"

"Try it. I'm Italian for a reason." Rossi turns away. There's something off-putting about Gideon. Rossi doesn't trust anyone Reid can't Know. He pauses. "Leave my team alone, Gideon. They don't need you anymore."

Gideon nods. "Then will you pass along a message?"

"If it's worth it."

"Tell Reid I'm sorry. I know how badly he wanted to connect with me – to have something other than a mentor – but I just couldn't attach to him the way I could to the others. I tried." Gideon shakes his head. "There's just something off about him. They way he'd look at me sometimes. It set me on edge." His shoulders slump. "Just tell him it wasn't his fault."

Rossi watches him walk away. The others are silent in his mind. He reaches out. _Hotch?_

_Come inside. _

The command is gentle enough, and that's exactly what Rossi does. The others have gathered around the window, watching the entire confrontation. Rossi joins them. _What does that mean?_

_I don't know._ JJ says softly.

Reid shakes his head. _It doesn't matter. He closed himself off the moment he decided I was defective._ At Hotch's sharp look, he added, _Your office isn't as soundproofed as you think. I was standing outside. It was before this started, so you didn't know._ Hotch nods.

_It's Gideon's loss._ he says.

Rossi grins. _My gain._

Garcia looks at all of them. _Can we pay for Reid's books before he decides to buy the entire book store?_ she asks. _There's still things to do, my sweets!_

Reid laughs. The tension eases out of the group. They pay for the books and leave, resuming their usual formation on the sidewalk. If they walk a little closer, no one seems to notice. All thoughts of Gideon escape from them as they resume their afternoon off.

Gideon watches them go before getting into his car and driving away. He has to talk to Reid. He'll do that before he leaves the city for good.

/-/

AN: Okay, so this didn't play out like I wanted. Instead of being a one-shot, this is going to be a little different. Maybe a few chapters. I feel like enough wasn't said. So be on the lookout for an update.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys are awesome! *hugs* In my gratitude, here is part 2.

**Never to Return Again, Pt 2**

Reid walks back to his apartment alone. JJ offers to stay with him, but he politely declines. He's not too fond of letting people in his apartment, and besides, JJ has Will to think about. Their relationship is rocky as it is. She doesn't need the complication of spending the night at a male coworker's place added to it.

Once, Reid considered bringing Will into their family. JJ said it wasn't necessary. Seven is a perfect number, really. None of the team is fond of the idea of letting anyone else in.

He remembers deliberately forcing his way inside Morgan's mind the first time, breaking down those barriers so he could tell if his friend was safe. He remembers breaking down other barriers as well, adopting Prentiss and Rossi into the team. He remembers twisting that power to make people kill, so he could protect his team.

He shakes the thoughts away. Now is not the time. He has a family now, one that accepts every aspect of him, even the bad ones. So he locks his apartment door, drops his keys on the counter next to his badge and gun, and walks back to his room to get changed. He has plans to sit on his couch and lose himself in _Prelude to Foundation_, the only book of the series he hasn't read yet.

Fifteen minutes later, after he's settled in on the couch wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, nose buried in his book, there's a knock on the door. Reid looks up, automatically casting his mind out for the visitor. It's not the team – they would just have announced themselves after finding the door locked. He can't think of anyone else who would visit, besides his neighbor, but she's out of town. He's been collecting her mail for her.

There's no one there. Reid rolls off the couch and grabs his gun, aiming it at the door, approximately at the center of mass of whoever is on the other side. He finally finds his voice. "Who is it?"

There's a pause. "Gideon."

With a small curse, Reid sets his weapon down and opens the door. He leans against the wall, staring at Gideon. He looks older than Reid remembers, but he shakes the thought away. "Why are you here?" he asks.

Gideon smiles faintly. "I wanted to check in on you." He motions towards the couch. "Can we talk?" Reid pauses. He can't judge intentions with Gideon the same way he does everyone else. He has to rely on his profiling abilities, and they're telling him Gideon isn't a threat. He steps back.

"Let me put on a shirt."

_Reid?_ Garcia's soft voice interrupts his thoughts. _Are you okay?_

_Gideon decided to pay me a visit._ Reid replies. _I'm just a bit tense._

_Do you want me to come by?_

Reid considers as he grabs a shirt and tugs it on. _Can you call me in about fifteen minutes and act like it's an emergency – beg me to come over?_

Garcia laughs. _You betcha, sweet thing._ She withdraws from his mind, hovering just at the edge of his awareness. He can sense the others taking notice as well, watching the situation through him, ready to move in if Reid is to need them. He smiles to himself.

Gideon sits on the couch. Reid takes the chair. That leaves a comfortable gap between the two of them. Gideon smiles. "How are you doing, Reid?"

Reid shrugs. "Awesome."

"Since when are you sarcastic?"

"Hang out with Morgan and Rossi long enough – you learn." Reid leans back in his chair. "You could have just called."

"And you would have ignored me."

"True." He sighs. "What do you want me to say, Gideon? That I'm doing good but really wish you were back? It's not true." He levels his former mentor with a piercing gaze. "I have a family now. I'm happy. There's nothing more you can do for me."

It's Gideon's turn to sigh. "The team is not family, Reid. Hotch has Hailey and Jack, I think I saw JJ with a young man – the others are going to find families as well; you know that." He leans forward. "They won't be there for you forever."

"And you will."

"I don't have the job to distract me anymore."

Reid closes his eyes. "You told Rossi you couldn't bond with me. What is this – attempt number 2?"

"Basically. I'm a better person now – I want to be there for you."

For a moment, neither speak. The others are agitated; Rossi is furious. Reid knows he's talking to Hotch, probably begging to just shoot Gideon and be done with it knowing Rossi, but he tunes them out. He simply stares at Gideon, considering. The man looks so hopeful, Reid almost feels bad for what he's about to say.

"No."

Gideon reacts like he's been hit. "I'm sorry?"

Reid shakes his head. "I'm not giving you a second chance. I can't, Gideon. You haven't changed, and even if you have, it doesn't change the fact that you left." Slowly, he stands up. "Did you know I tried to take the drugs from Tobias? It wasn't you who stopped me – it was Hotch. It wasn't you who helped me fight off the cravings – that was Rossi. I lost my trust in you a long time before you left, and then you didn't even bother to call me." He's shaking by now, automatically reaching out to his team.

_Hotch – _

_I'm coming._

Coming. Reid slowly relaxes. He stares at Gideon. "You told Hotch one you wanted me evaluated."

Gideon, if anything, looks even more startled. "You show some of the classic signs of autism, Reid, it was only natural that I would want to – "

"Have me kicked off the team?" Reid interrupts. "That's exactly what would have happened."

The door opens again. This time Hotch walks into his apartment, Garcia right behind him. The analyst immediately makes her way to Reid's side and hugs him. Hotch just stares at Gideon for a moment before speaking. "Sorry to barge in." He turns his attention to Reid and Garcia, a small smile forming on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yep." Reid puts one arm around Garcia's shoulders. "Gideon, it's time for you to leave."

Slowly, Gideon stands and leaves the apartment. He doesn't say a word to the others. Hotch watches him go before motioning for Reid and Garcia to follow him. "Come on. You're staying with me tonight."

Reid pretends to pout. "You're just playing the overprotective dad card again."

That earns him a small smirk. "Yes I am. Come on. It's not like you don't have clothes at my place."

Garcia laughs at that. "Hotch, we have clothes at everyone's places by now." she teases. "I think we could live at each other's houses by now."

Reid just smiles and leans against Garcia as they walk out of the apartment. _Thanks guys._

_I don't trust Gideon coming back like this._ Hotch says. _You're staying with us until we can make sure he's gone._

_You think he's going to try something?_ Reid says, startled. _But that's not like Gideon._

Hotch sighs. _Neither was leaving._

/-/

AN: There's going to be a part three, and probably the last part of this section. Thanks for your reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: In gratitude of all the awesome reviews you guys have given me, here is the final installment of Never to Return Again. I hope you love this chapter as much as you loved the others.

**Never to Return Again, pt 3**

Rossi finds Gideon in a local park near Reid's apartment. That thought makes him scowl, but he sits down on the bench next to the man regardless. "I'm not used to my orders being ignored, you know." he says flatly. "I told you to leave."

Gideon just sighs. "I had to talk to Spencer."

"Yeah? How did that work out for you?"

That earns him a dark glare. "I wanted to try again." he says. There's something broken in the way he talks. It almost makes Rossi feel sorry for him – almost. "I thought he'd give me a second chance."

"Reid isn't big on second chances." Rossi says calmly. "You get burned twice by the people you're supposed to trust the most, you learn not to get close again."

"He got close to you."

"I'm different. I don't walk away."

Silence falls between them. Rossi finally speaks again. "Why is this so important to you? Why couldn't you just stay away?"

Gideon looks away. "We had a lot in common, Spencer and I. The only real difference was that my father was institutionalized when I was born and my mother didn't walk away."

Rossi feels his breath catch. It takes him a moment to speak. "Schizophrenia?"

"Yes." Gideon shakes his head. "Then, when I was five, I told my mother I could hear what other people were thinking. Naturally, she feared the worst – put me on meds until I was ten. After that I was fine. My mom figured I grew out of it." He shrugs. "I thought maybe I could help Reid. I know he was afraid of getting sick. I thought – "

"You thought you could help him if it happened." Rossi leans back against the bench and closes his eyes. He can't believe it. Out of all of the reasons he envisioned to explain the brick wall Reid describes, he never imagined this. He remembers Garcia describing how it felt when Tobias took Reid – how the drugs created a haze that they could barely see through. Perhaps enough drugs could create a wall.

Gideon nods. "I just want to help him."

"He doesn't need your help – Reid is not schizophrenic or autistic or anything else you can label him." Rossi snaps. "And maybe you weren't either. Maybe you just had a gift that no one could appreciate – a gift that Reid's mother could." He shakes his head. "Either way, it's not my problem. I want you to go away."

"I can't."

"You can!" Now Rossi's standing, towering over Gideon. If he wants to play being the alpha male, Rossi will _show him_ what a real alpha male looks like. "This is _my family_ you're screwing with – you come back and you hurt our youngest, and that's hurting _us_." He's dropped all pretenses. This is not a senior agent discussing the lives of his subordinates. This is a terrified, angry father who will do anything to protect his son.

Gideon knows it. He's still a profiler – he still knows how to read the signs. His eyes are wide. "I can't. Rossi, they're – "

Suddenly Rossi is in Gideon's face, eyes narrowed, only inches separating them. _"No, they are not."_ he seethes. "They're _mine,_ and I swear on everything sacred, you come near Reid again, I will _shoot you_, and to _hell_ with the consequences!"

_Rossi, stop._ Reid's soft voice cuts through the red haze. He's suddenly aware of the entire team listening in. He's on the verge of sinking, and he's about to take Hotch under with him. He takes a deep breath and walks away, leaving Gideon still stunned and on the bench.

_Sorry. I didn't realize._

_It's okay._ Hotch is quick to reassure him. Rossi knows Hotch thinks too much like him. Feedback is easy between the two of them, just like feedback is too easy with Reid and Morgan. Hotch sends him the impression of a grin. _I think you told him._

_And he'd better damn well stay told._ Rossi laughs. _Still no cases?_

_I've fielded all of them._ JJ assures him. _I say we should have dinner before we have to officially go back in tomorrow._

_I'm all for it if Rossi's buying._ Morgan teases. _You always take us to the best places._

Rossi's anger has melted away. He means every word, but for now, it's in a small box shoved away in his mind, and he can walk out of the park with a smile on his face, as if he hadn't threatened to kill a former FBI agent. _I'll buy, I'll buy. Sheesh, I think we've spoiled them, Hotch._

_You have. I don't have the funds._

Gideon watched Rossi leave. The agent slipped up. Reid has a gift, one that Gideon himself might have shared, had he gone untreated? That sounds like Reid has the same illness he outgrew, and the others are indulging his fantasy. He could get back at Rossi, let it slip to Strauss. She would love the chance to pull apart the team.

But he won't. He can still protect his team, even if it's only from the discovery of Reid's delusion. Still, as he watches Rossi leave and thinks about the team's new dynamic, he can't help but feel a pang of longing for something he was never given the chance to have.

/-/

The teams meets at a fancy restaurant. Rossi no longer minds the looks he gets from the other patrons – after all, the BAU is hardly what one would consider polite company, and it's clear they don't come to places like this frequently. Still, this is Rossi's family, and he wouldn't trade them for the world.

Dinner is peaceful and mostly devoid of shop talk, as JJ calls it. Garcia and Reid keep swapping science jokes during the entire dinner until Morgan threatens to come across the table and whip them both. JJ and Prentiss tease the three of them about being put in time-out. Hotch and Rossi just exchange looks.

"I wonder what would happen if we did put them in time-out." Rossi muses.

"They would just annoy us more." Hotch says without missing a beat. "Nothing short of duct tape will make them be quiet." Rossi laughs at that.

They're being loud and a bit rowdy, and while they draw attention, no one says anything against them. They look like they're having too much fun.

Finally dessert arrives, and they all fall silent. The conversations switches to things best kept from the general public. _Gideon was like me?_ Reid asks.

Rossi sighs. _Sure looks that way, kid._ he says. _It explains a lot though. Best I can figure it, the drugs his mom gave him must have built up that wall, and he just never tore it down._

_Maybe he couldn't._ Prentiss muses.

_Maybe he didn't even know it was there._ Garcia counters. _Gideon may be a profiler, but it's not like this is something they teach you in psych school._

_Hear hear._ Hotch says.

Reid nods. _At least now I know._

They finish dessert and the conversation turns back to less important things – paperwork and the next weekend plans, and they each chip in on the bill as they start speaking aloud again. Once everything is paid, they leave the restaurant. Garcia expresses an interest in a new independent film that has just come out. Reid says he'll go with her, along with Morgan. JJ and Prentiss decide to head back to Prentiss's apartment for a girls' night in. Hotch and Rossi head out for a walk.

Before they all split up, Rossi suddenly finds himself being hugged by Reid. It's completely out of the blue, but Reid speaks before Rossi can even ask.

_Thank you._

He smiles and hugs Reid back. _Always, kid._

**The End**

AN: Whoo! An actual multi-chap fic done! Please let me know what you think, and until the next installment, I remain forever yours,

Shadowblade-tara


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